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You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.

An hour. Maybe it was a little less than that. A matter such as this cannot be timed exactly. In the space of an hour I found myself again. It had to have been the weather. As a matter of fact I know that is was the weather. When the weather is like that you can't help but be overwhelmed by the goodness of life. I think it was the way the sun felt on my face. Or the way that the wind made perfect timing of intricate rhythm as it rustled the leaves on the trees. Maybe it was the feeling I got when I actually started reading a book for the first time in a long time. I know that it was a mixture of all of those things. You see, life is not always like this. Life for me lately has been a pretty dark place. When someone tells you that you don't even know who you are, that comes as a slap of extreme reality right in the face. Did I really not know who I was anymore? Had I lost all sense of my "Shelby?" I started to believe that I had. It was gone and honestly I didn't want to go look for it. As one of my new favorite songs says, "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness." Saying that i was addicted to sadness is a bit extreme but I really didn't care anymore. In the space of an hour I found myself again. I am grateful to know that I can start over each new day. I am lucky and I am blessed.

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