BYU. Westmore. Anxiety. Family. Trusting. MY 5 YEARS IN UTAH.

For me, it’s usually night when all the feels start hitting and I get all sorts of nostalgic. August brings so many challenges for me in many ways. Once August hits it means summer is finally coming to an end and even though I’m usually ready to go back to work, the stress starts to creep in. Going into my 4^th year seems bizarre. I don’t feel as if I’m a seasoned teacher, but since I’m not worried about the first day of school I think that says something. August also is the month where 5 years ago I took a big risk and moved to Utah. I left the comfort of my sweet southern home and stepped out on my own. Since 5 years seems like an eternity and a second all at the same time, I decided to write down the 5 most important things that have happened to me since I moved here.

1.     Attending and graduating from BYU. I loved my time at BYU. I ran through my experience and I don’t regret that at all. I always knew the college lifestyle wasn’t for me, so getting through it fast was a blessing. I never have been a fan of staying up late, spending hours studying in the library, or even living off cheap food. BYU taught me a lot about my spirituality as well as how to view ALL kids as a child of God (which helps a lot on the hard days with the hard students). I made some wicked good friends and I also had a million different roommates.

2.     Getting my first salary job. I was hired as an Intern at Westmore Elementary my senior year of college and I’ve stuck around ever since. Westmore is my home. My favorite people in the world are there and I miss my coworkers when I don’t get to see them. They’ve watched me grow and most importantly they’ve stuck by my side when the days are too hard to bare. I’ve grown as I’ve watched my tiny kiddos grow. They teach me so much. They are the best friends I’ll probably ever know. I love my job. I love the love I get to give so freely as a teacher.

3.     Confronting my anxiety was probably the most important thing I’ve done since moving to Utah. Coming from a family where anxiety is apparent on both sides I knew that at one point or another it would hit me and I’d have to figure it out. It took my mom telling me that I needed to see a therapist for me to truly come to terms with the lowest point I’ve ever been at. My therapist is an angel from heaven. I got so lucky to find such a good one on the first try. One day I’ll share my story on here, but today isn’t that day. I still see my therapist once a month and I look forward to it so much.

4.     Watching my cousins become parents and letting me be an aunt figure to them has been a huge game changer. I’m lucky to go to my aunt’s house every Sunday for dinner. I miss when I’m not there. There is something so magical about watching people you’ve loved all your life become parents. For me, it has set a pretty high standard for my future spouse. I love every second I get to spend with their kids. They let me hold all the babies I want, climb on the playset with the older kids, and sometimes even let me babysit. I will always cherish the moments I get with them.

5.     Being 24 and single in the Utah County environment is certainly a struggle. The last most important thing I’ve learned since I moved to Utah is how to truly trust in the Lords timing. I don’t know the path my life will end up on. All I know is that it’s okay to be okay. I don’t need all the answers. I just need to trust. My Heavenly Father knows me perfectly and He knows where I need to be. He knows how I need to grow and learn. He knows what is best. It’s not always easy to accept this, but it’s certainly something I’ve learned. I am grateful for the place I am at now. I am lucky. I am blessed.

When I made the decision to move to Utah 5 years ago I had no idea how much my life would change. I never knew how strong I was until I was out on my own and making my own choices. Being here has been wonderful. Who knows how long I’ll stick around, but for now I am perfectly happy.