I survived. I wish I could say the first week of school went like I thought it would. I thought my kids would be easy and that the first week would be some sort of a "honeymoon" period. This week I have been tested to my breaking point. I have wanted to cry more times than I can count. I have come home at the end of the day and wondered what I had gotten myself into. I have had kids throw up. I have had kids cry. I have had kids stay in from recess every singe day. I have seen it all and I have survived the first week. Through all the chaos, through all the hard things I have had to face, through all the hours spent in my classroom, through all the times I've thought I'm not good enough for these kids, I have had a lot of things go right. I have learned more about teaching in the past week than in my entire life. I have learned that even though your kids may be wild and you feel like your class is out of control the moment they walk through that door every morning you love them a little bit more. Never in my life have I felt such a love for tiny humans that aren't related to me. I never have experienced such a high when a little student tells me that they love everything about my class. I have never felt as exhausted, or as overwhelmed. I have been trusted with 18 sweet children and they are mine. At the end of every day I get to wake up knowing that if not tomorrow, but on Monday, I'll get to see them walk into my class and have them share a part of themselves with me. To me, my kids are the best. To me, my kids are better than everyone else's. My kids are smart even if they read on a kindergarten level. My kids are beautiful even if their clothes are ragged or worn down. My kids are perfect even if they make me want to cry. My kids are mine and they are so loved. For a brief moment this week I questioned my decision to be a teacher. I will never do that again. I now know without any doubts that the classroom is where I'm supposed to be. I am blessed. I am so lucky. I am a second grade teacher and I'm never looking back.
Well Folks, it's been exactly 102 days since my car left home and headed out west. Each day that I'm away from home I discover more about myself, my relationships, and my Heavenly Father. It's hard to place a time or a date to your life changing especially when it happens over a period of time and through many hard lessons. Now more than ever I realize the importance of relying on my Heavenly Father in all times, in all things, and in all places. I have such a testimony of the love my Savior gives me. He is my constant companion and he is my everything. At times things can get dark and things can get lonely. During these moments of trial we too often forget our divine worth. We were all sent here with a unique and special plan. We were destined for greatness and we were destined to allow ourselves to achieve that divine potential. I have learned to never give up on my Savior, because when I don't give up on him I don't give up on myself. These past 102 days have...
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