I would love to know how when things get to a certain point, it is so hard to stay positive. I am one small person. I struggle daily with figuring out who and what I am. I struggle with self esteem and feeling worth something. I struggle to find myself in time, when a minute feels like an hour. I struggle with balancing school and work. I struggle with the idea of being alone. I struggle with getting to sleep at night. I struggle with feeling like I'm making a difference. I struggle..a lot. Do not get me wrong though, just because right now I'm barely breathing that doesn't mean I'm dead. This struggle is temporary. I know life is hard, I know it's supposed to be. I know that no matter what I have people that love me, even if I don't deserve it. I know that one day, this will all be worth it. I know that even though I am crazy and emotional right now there is a good chance that tomorrow will be better. I have so much hope. Hope a lot of times is the only thing that keeps me going. Well, hope and faith. The most complex thing for me to understand is the mercy our Savior has shown for me. I don't feel like I'm worth forgiving lot of times, and it's not easy to find that peace. It is there though, he is always there.
So usually my Sundays consist of the same things: church, lunch, nap, dinner, and homework. Today was not the same, and it has made me crazy. So to start off my lovely Sunday, we only had church for a hour. Some of you may know why, but for others here is the explaination. While our beautiful building is being built, we go to church in 3 metal buildings. Only one of these has decent insulation. Since Florida has decided to become Antartica, it was quite cold, causing us to only have one hour of church and not three. Lunch was wonderful, and was quite normal considering the rest of my day. After lunch I walk back into the kitchen and find my mother humming a lady gaga song. I never understood her amazingness fully until today. So then comes naptime. Oh how I LOVE naptime on Sundays. So I go lay down and start watching tv, and I couldn't sleep. GREAT. Then finally after about 2 hours I fall asleep, and wake up ten minutes later. Just dandy. I was not a happy person to say the least. ...
Comments
Post a Comment